Have I told you that I automatically wake up at 5am almost every morning? No alarm? Actually, that was before Tanzania. Since Tanzania it’s been 4:30. It started January 1st. NO LIE. Is that odd? Do you think Someone is trying to tell me something? I do my best writing while the sun is rising and I’ve been trying to work on a project.
I was watching that Kardashian show last night and the mom was all whiny about how much work she has to do and had to leave dinner with her girls early because she didn’t have cell phone service. The girls (three of which were grown, two in high school ~it’s a total rerun because what? Kourtney is all pregnant?) anyway, the girls were all “mom, relax, let’s just enjoy dinner together.” And the mom was all “you all don’t understand I have WORK and people are trying to get in touch with me, and I need to be available, things are happening, Gah!”
All I could think of was “Oh my GOSH Kardashian Mom, do you NOT see how much your girls want to just hang out with you while you are not preoccupied with your work? And people you don’t even know” it is SO obvious. Duh! Then I thought about myself and y’all, all DAY yesterday I was so preoccupied with my work and my schedule. Did I even make eye contact with my boys? I am the Kardashian mom. We’ve all done it.
I have more control over quiet than I like to think.
I like to think I’m being noble by having so much on my plate but it’s not noble, it’s foolish.
I also struggle with feeling like something is wrong with me, why do I require so much more margin and white space than my friends? (read in your Nellie Olsen voice, insert dirty look and dramatic hair flip complete with ribbons).
So I put up my summer automatic email response. It kills me to do it every year. And every year I think this year will be different and I won’t need to put it up because now I am a grown up and I can handle my boys out of school and returning email in a timely manner. And every year it’s one of the best things I do::
Then I sign it like this;
Apparently I wrote that post so I could link to it as an excuse all summer.
The truth is my work is writing. (OH MY WORD, I JUST ADMITTED IT!) I can do my job if I can just write good stuff. None of you really care if I’m on twitter or facebook or email you right back within 24 hours. The part of Nesting Place I need to protect the most is the words and the creativity. And those can’t flow if I let my schedule build up and if I let my time fill up.
A big part of doing your work is defending your time and your attention so you can do your work.