I am an extreme introvert which means I could spend extended amounts of time alone, not that I extremely hate people. I actually love people! But spending time with people drains me faster than anything else so I have to pace myself, especially when we have guests who we’ve invited to stay for longer than a few hours. I happen to be married to an extrovert so we like to say that hosting is the thing we do best together. I love to prepare for hosting and set the scene, Chad loves the conversation.

Here are a few tips that have worked for me to host happily as an introvert:

1. Create a coffee setup that doesn’t require your presence for guests to get coffee.

We try to have regular and decaf and a few types of sweeteners and milks. Nothing too fancy, no need to style it beyond reason unless that brings you great joy in which case, style away!


2. Grocery store flowers

I like to think this is for our guest but honestly, they are for me. I like the little shot of motivation that a new bouquet of flowers gives me. It provides a little more energy to get ready for our guest. I’ve found it’s better to get all the same type of flower (spend $12 and get 3 bunches) it will make a bigger impact than trying to mix all different varieties. You are not Farmgirl Flowers let them do their thing, you do yours.⠀

3. Invite a good conversationalist to your gathering.

As a hosting introvert, you don’t want to have to feel responsible for carrying the conversation. I want to have enough energy to listen well, but I don’t want to feel like I need to entertain a quiet room.  The truth is, if we host longer than a few hours and or if we host a large crowd of people, I often allow myself to go to my room, slip off my shoes and get on the bed for a few minutes while scrolling Instagram. It can feel like a cop out but as an introvert, twelve minutes to myself in the middle of three hours of hosting 25 people can help me recharge and come out better.

4. Have a quiet room? That’s okay, as long as there’s music.⠀(here’s one of my playlists)

Music sets the mood. If you want to set a convivial, more festive atmosphere, turn the music up a little louder. If you want to set the tone for getting to know new people and quiet conversation, play an instrumental playlist and turn the volume down a little lower.

5. Make it known

At some point, Chad does his job as an introvert and always tells our guests some funny story about me going to bed before people leave. It’s true. I’ll tell folks they are welcome to stay as long as they like, but I go to bed at nine. We’ve had people stay hours later after I’ve gone to bed. Especially if we’re hosting a big group. These days we even make it a little joke, sometimes I’ll even hang my “Please leave by 9 sign” it even comes with options for the time.

These things say “I thought about you and care for you” without you having to speak a word (yay introverts!)