I’m thrilled and scared to death to announce that I have the incredible privilege to travel with Compassion this May to Tanzania to see the work they are doing and meet some of the children and families in the community.

For those of you who know me and my nonpassporty, homebody, I hate airplanes and only travel if I can have a direct flight ways, this is shocking news.  It’s shocking to me.  I am still in shock. This is not something I ever dreamed of doing, this was something I was afraid that Shaun Groves would somehow, one day, for some random reason, find me and ask me to do and I can assure you I promptly told him “Absolutely not I am not flying halfway around the world, I am so sorry. NO” for about five weeks.  And last week I was in agony.  I had already told him NO.  Not for me.  Not me. Go Away. You should ask someone who actually wants to do this. Please don’t ever contact me again.  I am changing my phone number and email address. Never gonna happen.  No.

Castle Home Wear

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But, I simply could not stop thinking about Tanzania.  That was the agonizing part.  My dear husband put up with me talking about it nonstop.  He just smiled and encouraged me to not be afraid to take a risk but also not feel like I had to go.   I must have talked to my sister every day.  I cried. I was in misery, I curled up in the fetal position.  I couldn’t sleep. I shook {I’m shaking now}. I didn’t want to leave home.  I didn’t want to be away.  I hate travel.  I have never been away from my family for that long.  This is scary.  This is risky. What if I don’t do a good job writing?  What if they wish they hadn’t asked an introverted house blogger who writes about paint colors?

But all of those reasons piled together still didn’t seem like a good enough reason for me to say NO.  I didn’t like the reasons I was saying no.  And we talk about risk here and being afraid and I want to be a person that can Trust and not worry within that risk and fear.

If you were here last year you might remember me talking about the trip my sister took with Compassion and other bloggers to The Philipines.  Many of my (in)courage friends have gone in the past and for this trip, there are some amazing writers that I’m so honored to get to travel with, one of which is my dear friend, Maggie Whitley from Gussy Sews.


hand drawn chalkboard map via Dirtsa Studio

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Our family sponsors two boys through Compassion, both a direct result of following bloggers who have gone on trips and written about the people they’ve met and stories they saw.  Many times I’ve read what these travelers have written on their trip and felt like I myself had been there.

I have still have so many pressing questions that keep me up at night like::

what if I lose my passport?

what if I get falsely accused and imprisoned while in another country?

what if I forget how to drive after being gone for 10 days?

what if this is a fake Shaun Groves and the real one has been kidnapped and this fake person is going to kidnap us all?

what if I have to poo while I’m in Africa?

But really I am so scared. This is the scariest most out of my comfort zone solar system, most unlike me thing I’ve ever done in my life.  And I don’t want to do it without you.  I want you to come with me here through the magical power of the internet.

Will you?

Compassion Bloggers: Tanzania 2012