I used to ask my friends before I wrote about them on the internets.  Now I just write, and hope they forgive me later.  They usually do.  Today, at (in)courage I’m going on and on about my friendship journey and what I’ve learned from my introverted friend.  I’d love for you to join me over there.


  1. Read your post over at (in)courage and it was awesome. Commented over there too. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!

  2. Hi, Nester. I’m married to a big time introvert and he just recently read Introverts in the Church by Adam McHugh… it was monumental for him in understanding himself better and how to relate to people, especially in the body of Christ. Might be worth checking out in all of your spare time (ha!). You are not ‘sorry’ for making goals of friendship. The best and most meaningful relationships happen by intention and not chance! Happy New Year to you!

    • You know, I JUST saw something about that book last week and then forgot about it, I’m going to check it out, what a perfect reminder! THANK YOU!

  3. So glad to read your article! I, too, am an introvert. We are fairly new to our church go group so I decided to host a Christmas party for them. I baked “gifts” for them to take home, wrapped them up real nice. Basically, I went all out in an effort to be intentional. I wanted them to feel welcome and special and that we looked forward to establishing great friendships. I did get my point across and they were quite surprised. But, let me tell ya, when I typed up my impromptu email invitation on Monday afternoon for Thursday evening, I was terrified when I pressed the “enter” key!! You know what? it wasn’t so bad but it did drain me. Stepping out of my comfort zone was worth it even though it was tough!

    I really do hope you write more on this subject, I sincerely think you are ministering to so many of us who don’t really discuss this issue:)


  4. I needed to read this today. Thank you! I have been in a “season of needing to make friends” for a while now, but I’ve never been intentional about it. I never had to be in the past – there were always friend-making opportunities a-plenty in high school and college and those days before the kids were born – but not so much now. My husband is also a major introvert (even more than I am), so we can be complete homebodies if we don’t make an effort. I am going to look into that Introverts in the Church book also. :)

  5. Sometimes I wish I was a bit more introverted. They possess a calm demeanor that is rather envious from a loud-mouth, make things happen person. I’m learning to calm it down a bit as I age.

  6. Thanks so much for this Nester. You are amazing for telling this, NOT sorry. This is just what I needed to read today. I definitey need to get out there and be intentional.

  7. Beautifully said, my friend. Made me cry – but a needed cry it was.

  8. WOW , do I ever relate!!! I’m so impressed with her putting herself out there like that. I am a senior pastor’s wife and we just moved half way across the country. The pressures and expectations on the “pastor’s wife” alone can be unbearable at times but to also be an introvert, the stress really makes “me” want to crawl in a hole and hide these days. I can’t even begin to express how difficult it is going into a new situation where ALL eyes are on you and you really prefer to just hide! Honestly, life at church really becomes an amazing performance of paint the smile on and do the pastor’s wife “thing” . Completely DRAINING I tell you! Anyway, thanks for this post. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Perhaps in the new year I’ll attempt to put myself out there more. Oh, the thought already makes me want to throw-up! Well, wish me luck. Thanks a bunch.

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